Into the Everfree

[Link to story here]

So there's a little backstory behind this fanfic as well, but it doesn't have to do with an author that can't handle criticism well. It has to do with a small experiment that FiMFiction pulled on their site, though. See, there was a group formed of twenty-five or so authors, under the name League of Extraordinary Gentlecolts (and one gentlefilly), who swapped stories with each other and basically did an experiment on Brand Loyalty.

See, this was under the guise of butterscotchsundae, an author more notorious for shipfics and more emotional pieces, so it makes sense in a way. She actually wrote the fanfic Fluttershy's-Infernal-Adventures, which was originally going to be called 'Fluttershy Goes to Hell', but that name was taken already. The actual author was Obselescence, who does more Comedy/Slice of Life stories with one or two Sad stories to boot. Don't you love all these hyperlinks that I'm throwing at you?

So how did Obselescence do? Find out after the break.

Now, this story has the 'Sad' tag on it, so expect this to be a tear-jerker. I'm not known to show much emotion, but I had a box of tissues prepared for this story, and I usually only do that with clopfiction. I mean, what else would I do with them if I can't review them?

The first thing I'd like to point out is that this story has zero spelling errors, and the grammar is near perfect. I had to re-read this story just to make sure, and yes, there are no misspellings, like, at all. I love it when fanfics have professional quality editing and grammar, because it makes me think that reviewing these fanfics has just a bit more merit to it. They also make for a better read, but that's not as important, really.

The plot itself is basic, but efficient and leaves enough room for character development. This also entails quite a bit of emotional development as well, but more on that later. So its essentially just Fluttershy searching for Angel in the Everfree Forest after he ran away from her. Basically the two had gotten into a verbal argument, and after Fluttershy blows up in front of the poor, cuddly-wuddly, asshole of a rabbit, things get out of hand, or hoof in this context. Its odd how the author refers the Angel "talking" or having any kind of speech, but that's a minor complaint. The fanfic also manages to make Angel not look like a complete jerk, which is interesting because even in the actual show, he's a real douche-nozzle sometimes. (And I don't just call anyone a douche-nozzle. You have to earn that priviledge)

The amount of detail given to the Everfree Forest and how dark and creepy it is, along with Fluttershy's clear emotions and thoughts about the place as she treks through it, is very well done, and this is why I like this story most of all. See, from some of the stories I've read on FiMFiction and such, there are people out there that think that just because you have a 'cute' or 'nice' character do bad things or go through horrible circumstances, it automatically makes the story edgy or deep or whatever. See, you actually have to care about a character or find some way to relate to it in order for the reader to really grasp the situation and jerk a few tears from their eyes in this context. I'm not going to be naming any names, but you know who you are...

Even if you haven't seen an episode of the series, there's enough development and characterization with these two characters to empathize/sympathize with these characters and understand their motivations. Fluttershy isn't even my pony-waifu, and yet I feel sorry for her, especially at the end. I'm sorry if my writing competence just dipped a little for some people for using the term "pony-waifu", but then again I've used terms like "butthurt" and "douche-nozzle", so I'm not exactly Shakespeare.

"Thou mustn't foul-mouth on mine swagger and harems of harlots, fellow!"

Back on topic, the ending is left ambiguous, but I guess it fits and doesn't disrupt the flow or overall message of the story, and if anyone has owned a pet or taken care of something and poured their love and affection into something, you can definitely relate. I would've liked a more concrete ending as it does feel a bit rughed, but without giving the ending away, I can safely say that its a sad, but satisfying end to a good story.

If this is an example in what Obselescence can do, and if I was new to him and his stories, then I'd have high standards for his other works.

~30kbpm~

(I'm trying to work on updating my reviews as often as I can, but seeing how late my last two have come out, compared to the others, I might need another person doing reviews with me so that this might end up being updated daily, which outside of getting more traffic is my number one goal for now. Make sure you share this site with your friends, as every little bit counts!)

[source of picture here]